Top o’ the mornin’ to ye, friends, and welcome to the St. Patrick’s Day BUZZ, where every weekly column is a party to your Irish eyes (even if you’re not Irish). Come to think of it, who is NOT Irish on St. Paddy’s Day?? Since everyone’s got their green on, let’s kick off the BUZZ with a bit o’ Irish humor (with special thanks to Steve Bellardino): One day, God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So, he called Flaherty, one of His angels, and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When he returned, Flaherty told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel, Murphy, and sent him to Earth for a time too. When Murphy returned, he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good." God was not pleased. So, He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them, praise them, and give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what that e-mail said? No? Oh, so you didn't get one either?...Here’s the BUZZ, and that’s no Blarney: A very lovely lass named Evelyn Duffy emailed with a bit o’ info for the pet lovers amongst us: MassPAWS is holding it’s 8th Annual “Paws for A Song” Benefit at the Orient Heights Yacht Club, 61 Bayswater St., East Boston (617) 567-9439. It’s scheduled for Thursday March 21, from 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. and it’s a fabulous evening of entertainment, good food and fun, and it’s all for the purpose of helping homeless cats and dogs on Boston’s
North Shore. Tickets can be purchased at the door ($25) or call Beverly Alba (Winthrop) 617-846-5586, Mary Jones (Revere) 781-289-0163 or Dee Dennis (Swampscott) 781-581-5258. The focus of MassPAWS includes humane education, rescue of cats and dogs from terminal impoundment and life-threatening situations, foster care and adoptions, humane feral cat management utilizing trap-inoculate-neuter protocols, lending support and networking to other humane organizations, and much more. For additional info, please visit their website at www.masspaws.org...Patrick McDougal, an artist from Dublin, asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner, Michael O’Sullivan, replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings." "Well sure n’ begorrah! That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?" With concern in his voice, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."...Get ready for Revere’s Second Annual CityWide Fitness Challenge, which starts on April 26! Pre-register by visiting the website at www.reverefitchallenge@gmail.com. Time to start your healthy new lifestyle...The next Community Crime Watch Meeting takes place on Tuesday, March 26, 6:00 p.m. at the American Legion Building on Broadway. All residents are invited to attend. To learn more or to get involved with Crime Watch activities, contact the Mayor’s office at revere_mayor@revere.org. Help make Revere a stronger and safer community...Save the Harbor/Save the Bay presents their annual Cupid Splash on Saturday, March 23 at 10:00 a.m. at beautiful, historic Revere Beach. Take the plunge this year! It’s across from Kelly’s Roast Beef, and all money raised by the Revere Beach team goes back to Revere Beach. Register (Be sure to sign up for Team Revere Beach) at cupidsplash.com. Kelly’s Roast Beef will be providing hot chocolate and chowdah to warm up the splashers, and there are some great prizes to be won (including Jet Blue trips) so don’t miss out...Ran-dumb thoughts: A new medical study reports that the main ingredient found in hand sanitizer is paranoia; Instead of daylight savings time, why can’t somebody invent “scale light savings time”? It would take place twice a year, when we all turn our scales back 10 pounds. Just sayin’. My exercise routine consists of diddly squats; I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just a matter of time before they add “Syndrome” after my last name...That’s it for the BUZZ, BUZZers. Do whatever makes your heart sing, and remember: It’s perfectly fine to pretend we’re Irish on St. Patrick’s Day - it’s kind of like pretending we’re good at Christmas time....This week’s SMILEMAKERS: Jim Duffy, Bruce Singer, Emily Welch, Juliana Dimino, Helen Willis, Adam Sellew, Wayne Rose, Max Tapia, Kevin Valle, Gloria Mucci, Vanessa Fabro, Alan Jacobson, Kevin Dacey, Mary Morris, Alexis Rodriguez, Jennifer Pena, Michael Tucker, Alex Herrera, Cheryl Cole, Irving Litman, Sheila Green, Alan Kagan, Gerard Sorchetti, Nicholas Holmes, Stephen Bernstein, and Joe Vadala... Heeere’s the CHUCKLE: An Irish bloke goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, it's me ahrse that’s bothering me. I'd like ya to take a look, if ya would be so kind.” So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. "Incredible," he says, "there is a $20 bill lodged up here.” Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, only to see another $20 bill appear. "This is amazing" exclaims the doctor "What do you want me to do?” “Well for goodness sake, take it out man!" shrieks the patient. The doctor pulls out the bill and another twenty appears, and another and another and so on...Finally the last $20 bill comes out and no more appear. "Ahhh....doctor, that’s so much better! How much was in there? The doctor counts the pile of cash. "$1980 exactly.""Ah, that’d be correct." says Paddy. "I knew I wasn't feeling two grand."....Got comments? News? Announcements? Chuckles? Suggestions? Want to congratulate someone on their anniversary, birthday, baby, divorce? Is your group running a fundraiser, meeting, or event? March 16 is National Quilting Day! Got a joke that will keep us in stitches? Seams like we’ll be on pins and needles, sew why not email your BUZZ bits to: AndreaRevere@aol.com...and read it in The REVERE ADVOCATE!