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  • Malden High graduates 446 at Macdonald Stadium

    Friday, June 09, 2017 00:00
  • Residents in favor of RCN coming to city

    Friday, August 25, 2017 08:53
  • Sergio Cornelio unanimously appointed City Clerk

    Saturday, August 05, 2017 09:22
  • DeRuosi’s Report Card

    Friday, August 04, 2017 10:24
  • Help choose the next Malden Reads 2018 book selection!

    Friday, June 09, 2017 00:00

Beach City BUZZ

 

Howdy, friends, and welcome to the Beach City BUZZ. Let’s start by wishing all of our Beach City MOMS a stress-free and relaxing Mother’s Day. As for me, I’m not asking for any gifts from my kids, but as payback to wiping their snotty noses and messy butts, keeping them on the straight and narrow, feeding, clothing, sending them to college, kissing boo boos, staying up countless nights with fevers, belly aches, chasing away the Boogie Man and loving them unconditionally (which was not always easy), all I ask in return is for them to call me periodically to make sure I haven’t fallen and can’t get up, and to keep my electronics functioning properly. Is that too much to ask? Happy Mother’s Day to me … and all our mothers, young or old, here or gone – the ones who loved us, and never did sell us to the circus. And to my own children, rest assured that as your mother, I will continue to do my best to embarrass you in every way possible, no matter how old you are, for the rest of my life, because, well … I can … We’ve got some total ran-dumbness for you today. Here goes: It was all over the news this week – a recent study has found that swearing while exercising can be beneficial to your health, and increase your stamina while working out, which MAY even aid in helping you reach your weight loss goals. The Mr. and I were watching this report on the TV news. To which HE commented, “That’s total bull$%@&!! If there was any truth to that, I’d weigh 80 pounds by now!” Gotta love that guy; I believe it was during the same news report that I came up with an amazing idea. I’d just heard that we are about to be invaded by a brand spanking new species of ticks this season, and they could be infecting us with a strain of virus for which there is no known cure.  So here’s my thought – why not pay everyone to capture as many ticks as possible? (Find them on your dog? Put them in a tick-friendly box!) Then we’d send them to some newly formed government agency (Bureau of Lethal Ticks, or BLT for short); the government would pay us $1 per tick; from there, they’d ship the ticks over to the areas plagued by those wishing to harm our country and its citizens, turn the ticks loose, and we’d get rid of two problems at once. It would (a) be good for our economy, as it would be putting money in our pockets, (b) the new BLT Agency would be creating more jobs, (c) it would get rid of the tick problem, (d) it would get rid of our enemy problem and (e) it would be beneficial to our environment! See? This is how my mind works. Sad, isn’t it? I heard some radio discussion about what moms REALLY want for Mother’s Day this year. I’ve only got two items on my list: Peace and quiet … Here’s the BUZZ … and don’t forget to call your mother … From the US Postal Service: Every second Saturday in May, letter carriers in more than 10,000 cities and towns across America collect the goodness and compassion of their postal customers, who participate in the NALC Stamp Out Hunger National Food Drive – the largest one-day food drive in the nation. On Saturday, May 13, leave a can (or better yet, lots of cans!) of nonperishable food next to your mailbox before your letter carrier delivers the mail. The carrier will do the rest. The food is then delivered to area food banks … The folks at the Revere Chamber of Commerce have announced that their Annual Golf Tournament takes place on Friday, May 19 at the Mount Hood Golf Course in Melrose. The fun includes free giveaways, goodie bags, trophies and raffles, a barbecue luncheon, and more. RSVP by May 15 at info@reverechamber.org or call Marguerite at 781-289-8009 … Ran-dumb thoughts: The first step in solving a math equation is admitting you have a problem; for those who forgot to pay attention in their elementary English class – if you can’t remember whether to use ‘they’re, their or there,’ just use theirye’re; don’t you hate it when you think you’re losing weight, but then remember that you haven’t washed your jeans in a week? Hitting the gym to reduce stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people who caused the stress in the first place … CAPIC/Head Start has announced that they are accepting applications for children ages three to five for their half-day program, for families who meet federal poverty guidelines. For more info or to make an appointment, please call 617-889-5690, ext. 120 … That’s it for the BUZZ, BUZZers. Do whatever makes your heart sing, and remember: If a woman speaks and no one hears, her name is probably MOM (which upside down, spells WOW). Now go call your mother … Oh, sorry. Am I repeating myself? …This week’s SMILEMAKERS:  Dave Dacey, Omolade Adeniyi, David Grujic, Gabrielle Gesek, Steve Cappozzi, Luana Santos, Tia Fichera, Gina Raffa, Chris Hill, Jean Harris, Zachary Gentile, Cheryl Bulla, Peter Carr, Barbara LaRue, Sergio Garzon, John Barry, Jennifer Correa, Stacey Livote and Lauren Ellis … Here’s the CHUCKLE: A cellphone rings in the men’s locker room. A man answers it and puts it on speakerphone. Man: “Hello!” Woman: “Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” Man: “Yes.” Woman: “I’m at the mall and I just saw this beautiful leather coat and it’s only $2,000. Can I have it?” Man: “Sure!” Woman: “Oh, and I just stopped by at the Lexus dealership and saw one I really liked, can I have it?” Man: “How much is it?” Woman: “$90,000.” Man: “Well, if it’s that much, I want it with all the features.” Woman: “Of course! One more thing. I just finished talking to Sarah, and the house I wanted is back on the market, they’re asking $980,000 for it.” Man: “Ok, make an offer for $900.000. If they don’t take it, offer them the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want.” Woman: “Thank you so much, honey! I love you!  Bye!” Man: “Love you too, Babe. Bye.” The man hung up, and saw that everyone in the locker room was staring at him in astonishment. The man then smiled, calmly looked around, and asked, “Ok, whose phone is this?” … Got comments? Jokes? News? Suggestions? Want to congratulate someone on their anniversary, birthday, baby or divorce? Is your group running a fundraiser, meeting or event? It’s National Nurses Week! Urine for a treat, and we promise to stop needling you, but if you’ve got an im-pulse to send us some jokes or news, just give it a shot and email your BUZZbits to AndreaRevere@aol.com and read it in The Revere Advocate!

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