Memorial Day 2024 – Vietnam vet touched many lives

(Editor’s Note: Had he lived, Stanley Joseph Egan of Saugus would be celebrating his 75th birthday on Monday, Memorial Day. Instead, he will be remembered this Memorial Day weekend as one of three young men from Saugus who were killed in action during the Vietnam War. Janice K. Jarosz, a Saugus native and longtime writer, offered this article as a Memorial Day tribute to Egan and all of the other fallen Saugonians who lost their lives over the years while serving their country in the U.S. Armed Forces. This article first appeared in the Saugus Advertiser in 2003.)

By Janice K. Jarosz

The Clarence Egan family, well-known residents of Main Street, Saugus, for many years, has been very generous in “giving back” to the community in many ways.

As young parents trying to raise three growing boys during the ’50s, they still found the time to volunteer as Sunday school teachers and Boy Scout leaders. Both were two of the original founders of the Mid-Town Betterment Association, a grassroots civic group organized to represent the upper Main Street youth and to improve representation in town politics.

Their three sons, James, George, and Stanley, followed in their footsteps by graciously giving their time and energy outside of their own personal lives to Boy Scout programs and athletic coaches and by serving as altar boys in their local parish. And as generous as they all were, it was Stanley who gave the most.

Born in 1949, Stanley was a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky kid who loved life and just about everyone he met. He loved playing all kinds of sports and fixing up old cars, but, as family and friends discovered over the years, there was always something more to Stanley than just his endearing ways and gentle smile. Young Stanley also possessed a very special nature – a special grace not often found.

He was born with a natural curiosity about life and always wanted to know more about everything, especially about God. Sometimes the questions he asked were too deep for even his family to answer.

Stanley’s mother remembers the “testing” that often occurred between her and her son. Mrs. Egan always insisted that Stanley dress properly when serving Mass – it was one of the “rules of the house.” Stanley did not think clothes mattered, particularly in front of God and occasionally, he would send that message to his mother in a very clever way.

“Sometimes he would sneak by me Sunday mornings wearing his favorite black high-top sneakers unbeknownst to me,” said his mother. “At Mass, when he knelt before the altar, I could see those sneakers beneath his church garb. It was as if he was saying, ‘See Ma, God loves me no matter what I wear.’”

When not in school, Stanley spent most of his off time playing sandlot baseball or pond hockey, whatever the season. He and his best friends, John Faragi, Rich Salsman and Andy Penney, never missed an opportunity to get a game together just for the fun of it. My brother, Ralph, who was several years younger than Stanley, remembers how Stanley would always include the younger kids who were standing on the sidelines, and invite them to play – regardless of age or talent – always insisting that everyone should have “their turn.” Ralph never forgot that act of kindness.

Susan Campbell, a cousin and next-door neighbor, felt the same way about Stanley. Susan credits her cousin for teaching her how to play ice hockey. Years ago, the property next to the Egan home contained a brook, and in the wintertime, it made for great skating. Susan’s mother was not too keen on allowing Susan to skate, as she was quite young, but that did not stop Stanley. He found some skates for her and spent hours upon hours showing her how to skate, play hockey and shoot the puck.

He taught her so well that in 1974 Susan was picked as a member of the U.S. ice hockey team of the Olympics. Unfortunately, it was the year the Olympic Games were boycotted, and the team never got the chance to participate. But she believes that it was Stanley who got her that far.

Susan describes her cousin as being full of life and goodness and a true friend, who was always there for her. She remembers him for his love of friends and family and his love of God.

“Stanley believed that each of us should live life to the fullest – to have fun while we’re doing it and be kind to one another and that’s what he left with me – those values,” she said.

Andy Penney, a neighbor and fellow student, met him on the bus going to Oaklandvale School one day and remained friends for life.

“Not only did he know how to laugh and have fun – he was also a hell-raiser just like the rest of us and it was all so innocent,” said Andy.

Andy remembers the time he and Stanley snuck into the golf driving range next to Russo’s Candy House. They started filling their pockets with golf balls but before they realized it someone spotted them and accepted the chase. The boys had confiscated so many balls in their pants that they started to fall as they tried to run. They were eventually caught and turned over to their parents, not without receiving the well-deserved lecture and punishment.

After high school, Stanley thought he might like to become a sports announcer, so he enrolled in Graham Jr. College. Several weeks into his studies he was given the assignment to interview a mother who had recently lost her son and inquired as to what she had to say. His professor pressed him when trying to get more details about the interview. His reply to his professor was, “What do you think she would say?” He left the school after that.

Shortly after leaving college, some of his friends decided to join the Reserves and suggested to Stanley that he should do the same. The war in Vietnam was taking its toll, and there was a great deal of unrest throughout the nation. Stanley, however, preferred to take his chances with the draft like his older brother George. On May 6, 1969, he received his orders.

He was able to spend his last time at home on the 30-day leave before being sent to Cambodia.

His friend, John Faragi, was getting married and Stanley was so happy to be able to attend his friend’s wedding just prior to being shipped out.

Andy Penney remembers talking with him the night before he had to leave. Stanley told him that, for some strange reason, he was concerned about his legs, but he did not know why. Andy will never forget that conversation. And as he kissed his mother goodbye the next morning, he told her he did not think he would ever see her magnolia tree blossom again. His mother never forgot that conversation either.

Sadly, those premonitions came true when, after just one month of being in Cambodia, Stanley walked into a land mine that was set along two trees. Ironically, one of the soldiers who found him had an unbelievable connection with the Egans. The soldier’s dad was a close friend of Stanley’s dad and was a member of the wedding party of his parents.

He lived for several weeks but died on Nov. 23, 1969, from the injuries he sustained. His life ended at the young age of 20, but not his spirit. While his passing was a tragic loss to his family and friends, his spirit remains with all who knew him.

His friend Andy still dreams of Stanley and remembers the lessons and examples Stanley taught him. Andy believes that his best friend is still by his side whispering support and encouragement.

Stanley’s cousin Susan has spent the last several years setting up and operating a private home for dozens of Vietnam veterans to live in peace and dignity. Stanley’s spirit lives in that home.

Several visitors to The Wall in Washington, D.C., some who never knew him personally, have rubbed his name on a transfer and left copies in the family mailbox on Main Street honoring Stanley’s memory.

His spirit was with John Faragi when, 18 years after Stanley’s death, it was discovered that John needed a heart transplant. Such an operation was not done in Massachusetts at the time, so family and friends raised enough money to send him to California where they were doing experimental transplant surgery.

John waited almost two weeks, and, in that time, he grew weak and discouraged. On Sunday afternoon when he was at his lowest, the spirit of Stanley appeared. John spoke to Stanley, just as he always did, telling him he was tired and wanted to go home.

Stanley told him no; it was not his time and promised him that a heart would be there that evening. Several hours later a 19-year-old motorcyclist was killed, and his family donated the perfectly matched heart to John. Successful surgery was performed that night. John lived for many healthy years after the transplant.

His spirit can also be found at the memorial on Main and Howard Streets. The beautiful tribute to him stands as a quiet and constant reminder to all those who pass by of what he so freely gave to his family, his friends, and his country.

And the spirit of Stanley Egan is alive and well with all those he touched during his lifetime, and even those who are just learning about him. The lessons and examples he left with us during his short time on Earth are the presents he continues to give us through his spirit today. The lessons of love and brotherhood – of loyalty and kindness – are the gifts he sends to all of us – not just on Memorial Day, but all year through.